The One I Left Behind
by BacchikoiBABY21
Summary: He left someone behind. And it wasn't Steve. Bucky Barnes the Winter Soldier fic OC (NOW WITH A SEQUEL)
1. Language I don't speak

**CHAPTER 1**

He was falling. That he noticed, he was falling. An endless fall, and he was crying at the same time. But there were no tears in his eyes. But he is crying on the inside, with this fall he's dead for sure.

But he's happy too.

Why?

Because of his face, he saw his face one last time, his best friend, his brother, his family. He wish he could've told him how proud he was. He's saving the country, fighting the war just like how he has dreamt for years.

And Then he felt sad at the fact that he won't see him again, he won't see him saving the country. He wish that he was there when that happens. But he's done, he is as good as dead now.

Maybe that's all he is. Maybe that's his purpose, to save him from all those bullies when he looked like a stick. To try and get him into dates. Maybe, his time is done, because he's captain America now.

He's got his own back.

Bucky smiled, waiting for the impending fall to come. But it didn't. He jerked, and opened his eyes. He took a deep breath and took his surrounding. It was white everywhere. He looked to his right and realized he was probably in a hospital. He looked to his left and suddenly felt dizzy. He realized every part of his body hurt. He focused his eyes and almost fainted when he saw he had no arm! Suddenly it became harder to breathe, he tried to calm down. He can't. He closed his eyes and prayed this was all a nightmare and that Steve actually saved him from that fall.

He heard The door click open and he opened his eyes. It was a woman, she had black hair pulled back, she was in an all white dress with a lab gown, her face was covered with a face mask but he can see her eyes, they were black almost brown, and her eyes are almost like those of a cat.

She walked like the dainty lady she was and check his vitals, his temperature, took a few notes, then checked his decapitated shoulder.

He flinch and that's when she looked at him. She looked afraid, and he's sure he looked terrified.

"what happened? Where am i? Is Steve here?" he asked her. He waited for an answer but she only looked down his shoulder, touched it and again took a few notes.

She then checked his IV, looked at her clock then left. He heard the door locked on the outside.

He looked up the ceiling and realized this is not a dream. That woman, she didn't answer. but why? If she's an ally then why keep him from what's happened? He lost his arm, maybe because of the fall, but where is Steve? Is he on a mission?

Have I been asleep for days? Weeks? Or a month? Now that he thought about it, this place doesn't look familiar, and its too cold.

That woman, she didn't answer him because she doesn't know how to speak English. He is in the hands of the enemy. In the hands of HYDRA


	2. Red face

**CHAPTER 2**

He couldn't sleep after that, his head hurt with all the thinking his been doing. He's in the hands of HYDRA and he knows why he's here recovering, they've found him first and now they will probably torture him again.

He sighed and heard the door open again. She's back the woman earlier, with a doctor now and a high-ranking official, he knew him, he escaped when steve saved them. They speaked in Russian he guessed. "where am i? Why did you save me?!" he asked, his voice rough from the cold. No one gave a fuck about him. He knew the answers to his questions but he still asked. "I'm thirsty". That got their attention, the doctor commanded the nurse something probably to get water or food. She looked at me nodded and walked out of the room.

The doctor and the official didn't last long, they just talked and honestly they looked excited about something. He didn't want to know why. Then left.

A few minutes later the woman came back with a soup and water on a tray. She closed the door with her foot, then settled the tray on the table on my right. She looked nervous, he noticed how she was shaky. She took the glass with water then put a straw, then held it for him to drink "глоток" she said,almost a Whisper. He didn't understand what she said. He couldn't hold the glass. He was too weak, she helped him drink, she held his back while he drink. He looked at her while drinking and thought she was a sight. Her lashes were long and dark, her nose was small, her face was almost squared, softened by her chubby cheeks, that looked pale. She looked pale.

He was so focused on looking at her that he gagged when she looked at him. The water splashed, and he coughed some out. She put the glass down and wiped his mouth with a white cloth, and she was blushing when she did that. He looked down embarrassed, because he knew she was blushing because of him.

"do you speak English?" he decided to change the mood by asking her. But he knew she can't speak his language, or maybe she was not allowed to talk to him but he asked still. She just looked at him. She looked innocent, with those eyes, trying to understand what he's saying. "English??"I repeated. she swallowed and repeated "English?" her accent was thick, it almost made her more exotic. She took the cloth to her lap and her eyes looked like she was thinking deep. And finally she answered "No." she then reach for the soup, and spoon fed him. It was weird being spoon fed, there's always something motherly about that gesture, being spoon fed and all. And she was blushing the whole time, her hands still shaky.

The food was good enough, it warmed him enough. When he was done eating, he told her he needed to go to the bathroom. I was healed no more fresh cuts, but still bruised and weak. She nodded and I thank god she understood me or else I would have wet the bed. She helped me get up, my only arm around her tiny waist, she was small, petite. But she held my weight along with my IV. Grunting and taking sharp breaths while walking, we made it to the bathroom.

I was embarrassed, she's a lady and I only have one good arm, how am I supposed to pee? Standing in front of the toilet, I was thinking about how I'm going to tell her to help me, and I'm fucked and I only have one arm, but she beat me to it."разрешите" she said while her shaky hand took my pants zipper down, I gulped and looked at her in the mirror, she was embarrassed too, and her face was red. She appeared to be reaching for my underwear but I stopped her hand he won't embarrass her more. I peed, while she was turned around, standing beside me, her arms around my waist supporting me. I'm no virgin but I have never been in this kind of situation, it embarrassed me and I know she's embarrassed too. I fixed my underwear, and she helped me zip my pants. And then she helped me back to bed. Tucked me in. Checked my IV, like she usually did. Took a few notes, then took the tray with her got out the room, locked it from the outside not even saying a word.

He wanted to say sorry, for putting her in that situation. But he doesn't know the words to say. So he pushed himself lf to sleep that night.

 **NOTES:**

Russian words.

DRINK

LET ME


	3. Fist of HYDRA

**CHAPTER 3**

As the weeks went by, it was the same routine. She'll check me every hour, gave me food and spoon fed me every morning, afternoon and evening. I get to have solid foods for a week now. And I feel stronger, able to walk to the bathroom on my own, she gave me baths which is more embarrassing because I felt like a baby. But shut my mouth anyway. I didn't want her to feel more awkward. So most of the time I just keep a straight face. But I am just a man, and I can't ignore beauty especially if its in front of me everyday.

She always has those blush on her cheeks, either from the cold or from embarrassment. He didn't care, he loved looking at her, she's all he's seeing, he's not allowed to go outside, he doesn't have a window. So he spent his days just admiring her pretty face.

One day the doctor and high-ranking official came back. Its been weeks since he saw them and he doesn't like the happiness this official seemed to possess today.

"Sargeant Barnes, my name is Arnim Zola. You have had an almost full recovery, but it cannot be delayed anymore"

The woman came in again looking nervous, I noticed she had been shaking again. I didn't even know her name but how I wish I knew. More people came to the room and restrained me with straps. I was breathing hard, and shallow almost out of breath. I knew this day would come, Zola, yes he's with HYDRA. He experimented on me before, when we where captive along with the howling commandos and Steve saved us.

He's going to torture me again, I was saved to be tortured again, I was healed to be fucked again. I tried to stay calm but I can't. She's there looking at me, she then stepped closer and took a syringe out. She bit her lip and held my right arm. I didn't struggle, I just looked in her eyes.

I saw it, while everything was slowly turning black and I saw it in her eyes. She didn't want this, she's a victim as well. Everything went black and I'm out.

I woke up feeling stronger, I'm still strapped in bed. I tried to move but I felt heavier, something didn't feel right. Until he saw it, silver metal attached to his shoulder, stitches all around his arm to his chest. He suddenly felt sick. He wanted to throw up. The door opened and Zolas back with her and the other doctor.

"Sargeant Barnes…. The procedure has already started. You are to be the fist of HYDRA." He said smiling and seemingly proud despite his height.

"No!" I shouted and I tried breaking free but can't.

He laughed, a cruel laughter escaping his ugly face.

"well technically yes, you will be my best creation. And you will destroy your own country without even knowing it" suddenly he's face became hard and serious looking straight into his eyes.

"and maybe you get to kill Captain America himself"

I tried banging my head against his but he got up again heading for the door. He nodded at the doctor who started changing my IV.

"goodnight Sargeant Barnes, I'll see you tomorrow"

He left with the doctor but she, she stayed. I followed her movements and she started to check my vitals again, my stitches, my IV which I noticed had a different color now.

She's leaving again, but i grabbed her hand with my right hand as far as i can reach. She took a sharp breath and looked at me, she looked guilty. Her once hopeful eyes now almost dead with guilt.

I coughed, "please stay with me" I didn't noticed there tears ready to fall from my eyes. I knew she didn't understand what I said but maybe she can understand me through my eyes, my voice, because she stayed still.

She Took a deep breath and said "Подождите" I had no idea what she said but I let her go.

Notes:

RUSSIAN WORDS

WAIT


	4. Stolen kiss

**CHAPTER 4**

She was shaking the whole time. She tried suppressing it but it only got worse, she's on her way to the doctor. She doesn't know why but she had to try and not look suspicious.

She should have just refused him, and go to sleep. But she didn't, she can't leave him.

His eyes where so lost, so scared. She knew those eyes, she saw those eyes everyday. Once in her family's eyes, her friends, in the mirror looking back at her. she knew it and she can't ignore it.

She's the only thing he can count on now. But she had hurt him too, she lied as well. She knew how to speak English. Maybe not fluently but she could understand every word he says.

She felt guilty. She felt she could throw up. He's the enemy, but she is an enemy as well. But she didn't have a choice. She's a victim, and he is a victim as much as she is.

She knocked on the door, and got in. "I need to keep him in check until tomorrow. He will be asleep for 3 days. tonight will be the worst of his, he can't slip or else the procedure will fail" she tried her best to keep a straight face.

Please say yes.

Zola came in without a knock and just looked at us. The doctor said no. I tried to hide my disappointment and nodded. "Okay sir, ill just rest now".

"I am afraid you can't miss?? "

I turned and answered Mr. Zola. "maria sir".

"ah. Maria, I'm afraid you won't get a sleep tonight, you keep watch on Sargeant Barnes for the rest of the night". I almost jumped, but had to hide my smile "of course sir".

\--BUCKY POV--

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep but can't. Those things in the IV, those are not normal fluids. It must be some sort of serum, and it's making him feel weird.

The door clicked open but he didn't open his eyes. He wanted to smile because he knew it's her, she came back. He heard her heels tap on the floor until she stop in his side.

He had a weird feeling he can sense exactly where she is. She suddenly brushed his hair away from his face with delicate hands. Her hand staying on his temple. Then it happened, he heard it, he felt it, in his forehead, she kissed him.

It was innocent, just a peck you give when you tuck your child to sleep. He opened his eyes and grabbed her hand on his temple the straps on his arms now broken. She gasped, clearly wasn't expecting him to be awake. But she stayed still, not pulling away. Then slowly he placed his metal arm on her face, rubbing his thumb on her cheeks that's turning pink now. He slowly pulled her lips to his. It was chaste. He was right, she tasted so sweet her lips were so soft it was almost unreal. He looked at her, her eyes still close and her mouth slightly open and pink. He pulled her again for another kiss this time longer, he was right again. She is innocent, her lips inexperienced, and her movements unsure. He wrapped his metal arm around her waist, pulled her chest to his. She is nervous he thought, as he felt her heartbeat, this must be her first kiss. Her hands on his chest trying to block her bosom from him. But he felt her nipples harden, and it only turned him on.

Then she panicked and pushed herself from him, stumbling backwards landing on her bottom. She was breathing hard, she sat there her eyes wide, her cheeks blushing, and her mouth swollen from the kiss.

"im… im sorry." He mumbled sitting up, his chest heaving as well. She slowly stood, then quickly went for the door, almost tumbling again.

She left. Way to go Bucky.


	5. Down the Drain

CHAPTER 5

She rushed to her chamber, and quickly tried to calm herself. He caught her!

Why did she even kiss his forehead? Yes it was only to keep his demons at bay, she won't deny that she cared for him. She deeply cared for him, she wanted to save him but she knew she won't be able to help him. She's a prisoner here as well.

What can she do? Yes, a kiss. That's all she could do, to prepare him from all the hurt and torture he's going to face for the next 3 days maybe more. But he was awake!

And he wasn't mad, instead he pulled her for another kiss.

It was her first kiss with a man, and she would be lying is she says she didn't like it. But she knew, she shouldn't be kissing him. But it felt so good. Her body's reaction to him is all new to her. She's never been with a man. But she felt good, her heartbeat was so strong she thought it would leave her body. She felt her nipples harden and that's when she panicked And pushed herself away. She's breathing hard now.

Then she heard it, the alarm setting off.

She stood quickly from her bed and got out of her chamber. People are shouting outside, soldiers running in the direction of Sargeant Barnes room.

She gasped, she forgot his straps were broken when she left! He's escaping! She secretly hope he succeeds.

She saw Sir Zola nodding at her to come with him. They went to down, further down the headquarters. She's never been there, but she heard horrible noises coming down there every night and that's making her more nervous.

They went out of the elevator and went straight to the 2nd room. It was empty, only a chair full of straps inside and Machines she didn't want to know the purposes.

They went inside, Mr. Zola never said a word but she shut her mouth and didn't ask why he needed her here.

There was a struggle outside, she turned and her eyes grew wide. Sargeant Barnes was being dragged by several men. He looked like he gave a fight, his brow cut deep and bleeding. He had bruises across his cheeks and neck, his left shoulder upto his chest turned an angry red possibly because he used his new metal arm. He looked at her and she flinched, he looked dead.

They strapped him in the chair, he was struggling the whole time but it was no use.

"продолжить" sir Zola told the Doctor who came in last. They strapped him completely, then attached the machine in his head, cables everywhere, his mouth gagged.

He just looked at me the whole time, I tried to hide it but in my eyes I told him I was sorry. Tears were starting to pool around my eyes, when Zola told me to go and rest.

"Miss Maria, you can go now. Rest, tomorrow will be a long day" he said, that smirk plastered on his face. She nodded and looked at Sargeant Barnes one last time, he looked betrayed.

Now he knows she can understand English, now he knows her name, he always asked her what her name was everyday but she acted like she didn't understand him. She didn't want him to know her name. Now he knows she could have spoken to him the whole time but chose not to.

She dragged her feet outside, and took a glimpse of him just before the door was closed.

She felt ashamed, she betrayed him and even had the guts to steal a kiss from him. Now everything's going down the drain, she's afraid.

What will they do to him? Punishment is out of the question since he tried to escape. But after that what? She prayed, and hoped if any god can hear her help him.

She couldn't sleep that night, her heart ripping her body with every scream she heard, it was him. She heard him, call for help, for Steve. And how she cried praying that Captain America comes and save them both. No, even just him. If captain America can save him, she will be at peace.

It was almost dawn, her eyes snapped when she heard the door open.

\--

Notes:

RUSSIAN WORDS

PROCEED


	6. Bloody sheets

Warning! CONTAINS RAPE/NON CON.

This chapter is a bit hard for me to write, since i wanted it to be less disturbing. But here it is!

CHAPTER 6

She quickly sat up and squinted on the light coming from outside the door. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw him standing there, breathing hard. He's escaping again and he's taking her with him? Is that what this is? Or maybe he's going to kill her because she betrayed him. But she hoped not.

"Soldier, please proceed" she heard Mr. Zola say behind Sargeant Barnes.

So he's not escaping, and why is he calling him soldier? Why is he free to walk around? She gripped the hem of her dress and tried to stand but it was too late. Sargeant Barnes pushed her back on the bed. She took a sharp breath as her head hit the bed post.

"Mr. Zola, I don't understand! Please!" she cried.

"you take care of her soldier, this is your first mission. Do not disappoint Hydra" then he closed the door.

He's still standing beside her bed, just looking at her. She tried to calm herself as she slowly sat up.

"Sargeant Barnes, I am sorry. I lied. Please. Forgive me." She tried so hard to speak English, her accent so thick she wasn't sure if he understood her.

He didn't respond, but when he took another step, she stood quickly and aimed for the door. But strong metal arms held her waist. She was off the ground now, she tried kicking but the struggle only made things painful but she didn't stop. He threw her on the bed, before she can blink he was already on top her.

"No!" she tried hitting him with her elbow, but it didn't seem to affect him. He only looked at her. He looked dead, more dead than he had been weeks ago. She Slapped him, but he's dragged both her hands on top of her head caged within his strong metal hands.

Oh god! He's not going to kill me, he's. He's going to rape me!

She struggled, her tears already falling from both her eyes, she was panting. She's never been with a man, in this time of war, men and sex was never her priority. But how she regretted that now, she's not stupid. The first time always hurt, even consensual. And now she will lose a part of her she will never get back.

"No please…" it was almost a Whisper.

He dipped his head into her neck, and inhaled her scent. She fought the shiver running down her spine, but she's already shaking. His metal arm still holding her arms up without loosening, he looked at her.

That's when she felt his warm hand lift her dress, he was looking at her now but she chose to close her eyes and swallowed hard. He tugged at her panties and ripped them. She whimpered and tried to close her knees together, but his grip on her thigh was painful. He positioned himself between her legs and started kissing her neck, she was crying the whole time. She breathes through her mouth and not her nose anymore her teeth gritting. Her whole body shaking, that's when she heard him take his pants off.

"No, please! Remember me! You can't!" she appealed but he didn't listen.

She kept struggling, when she felt his tip touch her entrance. She cried louder when her kicks didn't even make a difference. She yelped when He entered without warning, and it hurt. It was painful, she thought she was on fire, he kept pounding on her, that she thought she will rip open. Her tears are fat and falling on the sides of her face entering her ears.

His grip on her arms tightening with his thrust, with her bones numb.

She wanted to close her eyes, but its here now. She won't be able to escape this situation.

Instead she looked at him. She's still crying but the sound of her pain was not as loud as before. She saw him pick his pace, and she thought she'll die from the strength of his thrust.

She saw him Bite his lip, and scrunch his face and release a growl of pure ecstacy. "fuck!" he growled. She felt him spill his seed inside her, filling her with her own blood and his semen. He kissed her, but she didn't move. She just looked at him. Her eyes didn't betray him.

How did this man turn into this monster? Why did I let this happen to him? To me? This man he wasn't like this, he was my friend in a way. She even cares for this man despite this. They must've done something to him, down there. She heard his scream of pure agony just hours ago and that says a lot.

He left her there exposed and cold, her once white sheets are now bloody. He closed the door locked it even. But she wondered, will he even remember?


	7. Soldier?

CHAPTER 7

She felt sore, and her whole body hurt. She slowly sat up and whimpered because moving made everything more painful. She saw her thighs stained with blood and semen. Her sheets had stains as well. She looked dead walking to the bathroom, every step reminds her of what she lost.

When the doctor came in without knocking she knew there was no time to mourn her loss.

"no time to fix yourself, shower later. You come with me now, Mr. Zolas orders" he then left.

She tried to move as quickly as she possibly can. She splashed water on her face. Took a new panty, and wore it under her blood stained dress. She took her lab gown and wore it as well. Her inner thighs still stained with blood, she smelled like blood. She looked back at her bed and saw the mess, it was bloodstained now. All her innocence gone just a few hours ago. But she could cry and clean herself later.

BUCKY POV

He's on straps again when he woke up. He remembered trying to escape but failed. He remembered being dragged down here, and he remembered kissing her before all this.

His head hurt, it was almost unbearable. What did they do to him? He looked down and saw blood on his pants, his brows furrowed. He didn't remember hiw he got those blood, he doesn't have wounds anywhere near his pants.

That made his head more painful.

The door opened and Zola along with the doctor and she came in. The woman he kissed, he heard them call her name when he was being strapped. It was Maria, he smiled at the idea of her innocent name.

It suits her he thought. He looked at her, and she looked terrified. Her eyes looked like she cried and didn't sleep at all. She looked tired and almost in pain, her movements not as fluid as before. He noticed how her walk was almost like she's dragging herself. He frowned, what happened to her?

"Sargeant Barnes, I assume you still know my name?" he smiled, that ugly smile.

"Zola" he answered, his eyes piercing him.

"ah.. Then do you remember her?" he pointed at Maria.

"what do you want?" he asked defiantly.

"you don't? Well you see, we don't tolerate traitorous actions here in Hydra. So when we see it, we kill it. Very simple." He walked around him, while Bucky looked at Maria confused.

Zola held his metal arm and continued to speak.

"Miss Maria here has always been a sight. Every soldier here wants to ring her bell, but no one succeeded. Not until last night."

Bucky gulped and looked at her, he now noticed how her usual white dress had blood stains. Her thighs had them too. He took a deep breath and looked up to her face. She's crying now. What's happening?

Zola leaned in his left ear but didn't Whisper.

"You're a lucky guy, you got take her last night. Forcefully. I can't blame you, being a womans first is always special."

He's eyes are wide, looking at her. Shaking his head. "You're lying! I didn't… I don't… I don't remember… did i?"

Zola stood up, "our first test is successful then. Miss Maria thank you for your cooperation. Oh and Soldier? Pray she's not pregnant, or ill have her dead. I have no use of pregnant women. I'll leave you two now." Zola slowly walked to the door, his footsteps light and happy.

It's just him and Maria now. Alone in a room, he's strapped but if what Zola said was true then he raped her. He forced himself on her, he can't trust himself now. And fuck his head hurts like hell.

"Sargeant Barnes" she spoke.

He looked at her, guilt all over his body.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know, what did they do to me?" he tried to reason himself but found no logical conclusion.

"no need for apologies Sargeant Barnes, Mr. Zola was right, I was being traitorous when I asked to stay with you that night. It was a punishment I deserve. But I do not wish it even for my worst enemy."

"you speak my language" he looked on the ground.

"Good day Sargeant Barnes. They said you will need a rest for today." Then she left, her movements appear more painful to watch now that he knew he's the one who caused it. That explains his bloodstained pants.

He's no hero now, he's evil and he didn't even know it. He didn't know if he wants to remember how he took her innocence or not. Everything's blurry.

What would Steve say? Oh Steve, his best friend. He smiled remembering his best friend who got beat up in every alley. He was Steve hero too, he saved him when no one did, he believed in him when no one did. But now, Steve would be so disappointed. He's worse than those scums who beat him before.

LATER THAT EVENING...

He heard footsteps outside his cell, he got a feeling his senses are amplified now with whatever serum they injected to him.

He closed his eyes and listened, its her! What is she doing here? To check my vitals like she usually did?

The door opened. She looked nervous and panicking. Closing the door she quickly run to him, and unstrapping him.

"what are you doing?!" he asked. His voice rough even when Whispering.

"you need to go, let me help you. Go home. You can't stay here, they… they will use you!" she answered her accent still thick but he understood her.

He nodded. And quickly got up. She led him through tunnels, stairs, and doors. It was surprisingly quiet, no soldier was on sight, out to get them. They have successfully got out the facility.

"go now!" she said pushing him into the woods

"come with me, please!" he grabbed her hand.

"I can't my family, they…..

Bang.

The sound of gunshot ring through his ears. She fell forward on her knees, they shot her! He growled and attempted to fight them. But she pushed his thigh to run.

"go now, leave me. Go to Captain America." She's spitting blood now. And he couldn't move, he knelt in front of her and held her face.

"I won't leave. We will have our chance soon." He held his arms up to surrender. Soldiers pouring around them, Zola just behind.

"You seriously thought you'd escape? I kept you going this far soldier, i wanted to see how far she'd go for you. You're a loyal pet, good. Surrendering to your master. Good qualities indeed." Zola then looked at Maria.

"but you, you never learn. And I thought you were smart." He pointed his gun at her, soldiers now have strapped and electricuted Bucky, he couldn't move.

"lesson learned, never mess with Hydra" he pulled the trigger and she slump forward. Her body jerked a little then laid there lifeless. Her eyes still looking at him. He pictured her eyes one last time, he shall never forget them. He cried silent tears for her. He saw men carry her body while laughing.

Everything went black.

PRESENT TIME

"Longing, Rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, Nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car. "

He looked to his left and saw a man who greeted him with a cocky smile.

"Soldier?" he asked.

"ready to comply" he answered.


End file.
